Growing up, I was one of the blessed people to have two full sets of loving, doting grandparents. All of them attended my wedding with tears of joy and proud smiles on their faces.

My grandparents are a giant part of my everyday life. I lived in the same house as my dad’s parents and my mum’s parents were only two quiet streets away. And until the day I got married, I popped in and out of both homes and often spent copious amounts of time soaking up as much of their time as possible.

They were the four unwavering pillars of strength, on whom I relied on for advice, guidance and love. Four people who played an integral part of my life. Four amazingly wise people who taught me more about life than any school lesson.

I married in a different country and moved away from home but I kept contact with my grandparents, regularly messaging or calling them and they did the same. It became a habit to randomly send an “I miss you” when they popped into my mind during the day.

Never once did I think that one of them might leave me.

But, 22 years into life and a year after getting married, I was forced to whisper a teary good bye to one of my pillars.

It’s been two months since that good bye and yesterday was the day it truly hit me. I came across some pictures of both my granddads from the wedding and reflexively went to send it to them.

All of a sudden, hand on the send button my heart dropped and my throat swelled and I burst into tears as the realisation that I can’t SMS him any more hit home.

I couldn’t just message him that I miss him…

So, since I can’t WhatsApp you anymore, I’m posting this letter to heaven just for you.

To my Nana,

I miss you more than words can say.

I miss your smile because it made me feel warm inside and your proud looks because I knew I’d done something right.

I miss being called Dr (even though we all knew medicine was never on my list of goals) and hearing jokes way too early in the morning for me to comprehend them.

I miss the pink and white sweets, you produced out of your magic pocket, that neither of us should be eating because we were both allergic to nuts (even though you vehemently denied your itchy, swelling fingers were caused by the sweets).

I miss getting a phone call to check my WhatsApp that told me to check my email that asked if I checked the Facebook message you sent me.

I miss trying to guess your password, because it was never SamMeer, even though I was never the one who set your number of social media accounts up for you.

I miss being told that you broke Google and we need to email them to apologise.

Most of all, I miss your hugs.

But while I miss all these things, I know in my heart you’ll always reside.

I know you are no longer in pain and may Allah give you the highest stages of Jannah (heaven).

From your eldest grandchild,
Brokebella