Usually I’m a fountain of words, ideas and a million thoughts but the moment I read this topic my mind went as blank as the paper that lay in front of me waiting for my ink to stain it. Apparently, talking about myself is the one topic I have no real opinion on.

So, after much despair and agonizing brainstorming, I decided to search for a little guidance and inspiration. Research, I suppose you could call it. I turned to my friends, family and those who loved me most, seeking their opinion of me and then I turned to the mirror and asked myself “Yo, honey, who the heck are you?”

My mum as usual was sharp witted and quick to respond in a succinct one sentence

“You’re irritatingly outspoken, dubiously studious and ingenious in laziness…”

Now usually this would be the part where I gasp in mock horror and yell “MUM!” in feigned indignation but even I know that no truer words were spoken and no amount of dramatic hair tosses will change that very accurate character analysis.

Friends are always rather forgiving when it comes to these kind of questions and the replies were more along the lines of “you’re sweet and funny and kind and.. and.. and” The kind of thing you say when you think your friend is on the brink of losing her mind and needs the sweetest thoughts to lift her up again.

My best friends on the other hand are so used to me asking random questions like this for blogging purposes, they decided to get creative and came up with replies like: you’re as sweet as a sugar pie until we’re plotting a murder… oh, and you’re midget sized. My best friend also took it upon herself to point out that sometimes I can dress like a diva but still throw tantrums like a five year old when I want sleep (she then accompanied the message with a rather embarrassing video of me curled up in sweaty clothes insisting I take a nap instead of shower). The same friend then added “And you smile but if one is perceptive enough they will see that your eyes are already planning their death in a rather gruesome manner…” before admitting she does exactly the same thing when annoyed. Not to mention, that I am in no way shy or easily embarrassed, meaning my friends get away with being absolutely ridiculous and I’ll play along without a complaint. (To be fair though, I am usually the one initiating the funny faces competition in the middle of awkward situations like over crowded elevator rides)

But, while all the above is a hundred percent on point (much to my chagrin), it was the sweeter comments and  replies that truly stunned me. Everything from quotes to pictures were commented or sent to me with the people insisting that in their eyes that was exactly who I was and how they saw me.

Lastly, before I made my own personal conclusion, I asked my aunt (after all it was her influence that gave this blog got it’s name) and she stunned me into a moment of complete silence. As usual, she had seen a side of me that I had not realized existed at all until she grabbed me and turned me in that direction, pointed to it and went “look over there, sweet Bella” like she used to do when she used to take me to the zoo and show me the lions.

With her guidance in mind, it is safe to say that:

I have been told that I am wise beyond my age, an old spirit, an empath.
When I see someone who needs my help, I extend it, no strings attached.
My best friends know that I am loyal to fault.
I am dependable and eager to please.
I come from a long line of strong females and I never back down from a challenge.
I may get down but you will never count me out.
I am a warrior.

I am the person you go to when your heart and your head cannot reconcile with the facts and you need someone to help you make sense of things.
I am a diplomat that takes the information and processes it into bite sized pieces so everyone can understand it without anyone feeling attacked.

Now, whether or not you agree to anything written above is entirely up to you. I write this blog simply to express me without having to tell anyone who I am. Instead I use this anonymity to allow you the chance to discover hidden parts of me without the veil of prior knowledge nor familiarity with my name. I allow you to see the parts of me that you need most in your strangest or darkest moments.

Leaving it up to you,

Brokebella