Growing up in a relatively traditional Indian home “Failure” is one of those taboo words you never mention unless you want to be condemned. It’s quite possibly on the same level as admitting to having contracted the plague or H1N1.

So in the current culture of success being solely based on how many A’s you get in Matric and how rich you manage to make yourself by 25, the pressure is always on.  You are always expected to achieve nothing less than exceptional. Every parent believes they have groomed the world’s next Mukesh Ambani.

We are taught to dress ourselves in the latest fashions,  buy the most expensive make up and drive the fastest sports car our dad’s can give us. Our generation has slowly been conditioned to believe status means more than character and that money replaces love.

Sounds harsh?

A friend of mine recently expressed an interest in a girl and was willing to meet her to decide if he wanted to propose to her…(yes, this sounds a touch old fashioned but he is one of the few who enjoys doing everything the correct way) Instead of her mother running the usual background check via the “samoosa gang” and the “Who’s daughter you” committee to see if he was a decent guy with a good reputation, her only request was “make sure he comes with his degree and university results.”

She could have just asked for his proof of employment and current bank balance… Or maybe a CV, since it seems that this is going to be a business meeting instead of a marriage proposal. Maybe the mother is justified but that seems a little harsh considering he isn’t even sure he wants to marry your daughter yet… It’s almost as if she’s conditioning her daughter to think:

I thought that was the pinnacle of ridiculous requests until I asked a few other friends and the list included (and I quote word for word):

• She asked me if I would buy her three Mac lipsticks a month
• Can I afford an apartment in Dubai for holidays twice a year
• Do I own a business
• Does my apartment have enough cupboard space for her 30 pairs of shoes
• she said “I expect R5000 spending a month minimum and a BMW with a drop top. If you can’t afford that, don’t even bother”

Shock? Horror? Despair?

Perhaps I am being a touch harsh, after all, I know there are tons of girls out there who aren’t this shallow or demanding but I have to ask:

What on earth do you think marriage is?

Where is the logic in asking a 20 something year old, straight out of varsity, man to fuel and pay for a lifestyle your dad worked half his life to fund for you?  And why do you seem to think you are entitled to such lavish luxury?

When did a person’s success become linked solely to money? When did we stop measuring a person’s worth and marriage-ability on their character and personality and start measuring it on their ability to give you five star accommodation and a luxury car?

When did something as sacred as Marriage become nothing more than a business? Nothing more than a means to get the lifestyle you think you deserve?

Ladies, yes you have rights but these rights do not include your ridiculous demands for luxury. Guys, you too have rights but remember she is your wife not your slave…

In the business of marriage, the person who fails to understand the concept of partnership is ultimately at a loss.

But that’s just my opinion.

After all, I am not married nor am I a business major so I merely know the little I gathered from watching those around me… In all honesty, much like business and economics scares me senseless, this new concept of “The Marriage Business” truly terrifies me.

Quietly Calculating,

BrokeBella