It started with a sandwich. Or rather, the absence of one.

Leila was a quietly competent brand manager at a mid-sized marketing agency. The kind of woman who stayed late to fix other people’s mistakes without ever asking for credit. Her colleague, Josh, was newer, louder, and forever hungry. One afternoon, someone’s neatly labeled lunch went missing from the shared fridge. It wasn’t the first time. That day, Leila snapped. “Josh,” she said, a little too loud, “if you’re going to eat other people’s food, at least try not to leave the box out like a trophy.”

It spiraled from there.

🌪️ The Characters and the Cause

At first glance, it was a relationship conflict: a petty squabble over lunch and tone. But beneath the surface, this was a process conflict waiting to boil over. Leila resented that Josh never followed protocol. Josh thought Leila was uptight and patronising. There had been tension brewing for weeks—missed deadlines, ignored meeting invites, and quiet undermining that no one addressed.

The team was already stressed. Targets were tight, management vague, and everyone was overworked. When Leila publicly accused Josh of food theft (right or wrong), it lit a match.

🔥 Escalation and Contagion

What began as a dyadic conflict quickly spread across the open-plan office. People started taking sides. Someone added “Fridge Bandit” in Sharpie to Josh’s coffee mug. Leila’s allies began excluding Josh from brainstorms. Group chats formed. Memes were shared. Passive-aggressive Post-it notes appeared on the fridge door.

This was textbook group-level conflict contagion. One minor clash had infected the entire team. According to Buchanan and Huczynski (2019), this kind of “fire-like” spread happens when conflict isn’t resolved early. And just like fire, the longer it burns, the harder it becomes to put out.

🤕 Symptoms of a Sick Workplace

The effects were immediate:

• Collaboration plummeted
• Clients noticed slower turnaround
• Junior staff felt anxious about speaking up
• Absenteeism spiked

There were whispers of resignations. Even people not directly involved began exhibiting signs of withdrawal, one of the classic counterproductive work behaviours.

🧠 How the Conflict Was Managed (or Not)

At first, leadership did nothing. This was their first mistake. Avoidance, according to Kenneth Thomas’ model, is the least effective conflict management style when tensions are already high.

Eventually, HR got involved. A formal mediation was arranged. In the session, Josh admitted he had taken the lunch—but only because “he thought it was up for grabs.” Leila admitted she had let her frustration build. They were both asked to apologise. There was no real attempt at collaboration, just a rushed compromise to keep things civil.

It didn’t work.

The resentment lingered. Leila stopped volunteering for new projects. Josh asked for a transfer six weeks later. Half the team turned over in the next quarter.

💡 Lessons in Civility and Leadership

If this story teaches us anything, it’s that small acts of incivility matter. As Christine Porath’s research shows, even subtle rudeness can lower team performance, engagement, and trust. Respect isn’t just a leadership buzzword. It’s a strategic tool.

The leadership at this agency missed every cue: the early signs, the emotional undercurrents, and the opportunity for restorative resolution. Instead of asking the right questions or promoting open dialogue, they defaulted to silence.

In the end, it wasn’t the sandwich that broke the team. It was the culture of avoidance and low trust.

✨ Takeaways

• Address conflict early. Small issues become symbolic when left unchecked.
• Recognise process and relationship tensions, even if they masquerade as personal spats.
• Promote civility. Respect, warmth, and clear communication are more powerful than any team-building exercise.
• Don’t ignore the “elephant cards”. Talk about the unspoken stuff before it becomes unbearable.

Conflict, if managed well, can lead to growth. But if mismanaged, or worse, ignored, it becomes the silent killer of workplace morale.