Today I had a rather strange conversation with a kid who after asking my age decided that a six year age gap would not have any influence on his chances. In other words he decided the best thing he could do was hit on me and ask for a picture. When I turned around and politely replied ” Hell no, you’re like my sisters age” he somehow took it as a cue to ask for her pin instead.

This got me thinking. When and how did the generation that followed the 90’s kids get so weird? In an attempt to figure this out I decided the only way to solve the mystery would be to compare the two generations.

Let’s start with the obvious differences:

90’s kids grew up believing “shit” was a swear word and “Damn You” was the scariest insult you could throw at someone. If you spoke out of line chances are you got stared at with those scary big eyes and you automatically knew you were dead as soon as you got in the car to go home.

We ran around barefoot and covered in mud the whole day. We climbed trees, ate ants and made mud pies with actual mud. 90’s kids knew what play dough looked like and painted the garage door with magic markers. We covered the drive way in chalk drawings and played hop-scotch in the street. We got kites stuck in trees and footballs kicked into yards no one wanted to enter. We scaled fences to visit our friends and spent hours at the park.

We had badass sweets that you no longer find and drank coke most of our lives. The only organic food we ate was that one time we tried eating flowers to see if it tasted as good as it smelled. We hated being inside and wore ten layers of clothes just to run around outside in winter. We slid down hills in cardboard boxes and scraped knees and elbows falling off skateboards. We made friends with actual people and actually spoke to them.

No one ever told us not to play in the sand or dance in the rain. No one ever said we’d get sick if we ate a sweet before supper. No one forced us to play with educational toys or watch creepy cartoons that teach you to spell. We had no bedtimes or schedules unless you count waking up extra early on Saturday mornings to watch Tom And Jerry reruns.

But the the kids of the 2000’s are completely different. They would rather go shopping than go to the park. The other day I heard a fifteen year old proudly exclaim he could out cuss Eminem.  They don’t finger paint and have a more structured daily schedule than a New York Lawyer.

Let’s not get into all the fancy gluten-free and organic food they eat or the cereal that tastes like cardboard. Or the fact they don’t have a clue what Cartoon Network and Code Name: Kids Next Door is. While we on the cartoons issue, why is Flinstones suddenly PG13 when I grew up watching it from the age of three? Why don’t the 2000’s play in the sand or dance in the rain.

Why is it okay for them to talk to strangers online but not in person? Why does it seem like a normal idea for a ten year old to have a cell phone and a fourteen year old to have the latest IPhone in his pocket? When did girls start wearing heels and lipstick to primary school? And what does a thirteen year old know about contouring her face?

Lastly, how is it that the generation that parents seem to be sheltering the most are the generation that come to high school with a full understanding of sex, drugs and partying? When did ten year olds start having boyfriends? And since when is a kid allowed to hit on people six years older than them?

Is it just me or is there a generation gap the size of Kansas between the 90’s kids and the kids of the 2000’s?

Lost in thought,

BrokeBella